


Ridiculous Women

by Laurentia



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Half-Sibling Incest, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:38:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3417911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurentia/pseuds/Laurentia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being outside was only marginally preferable to being in hell, so she had found the sisters in the secluded garden, sunning themselves in ridiculous two pieces and glistening in the sunshine…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ridiculous Women

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kjtgp1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjtgp1/gifts).



> Hopefully my recipient will forgive me for loosely interpreting the pairing brief XD

“You two are both ridiculous human beings you know that?”

Emma sighed when laughter was her only response. She should have figured that really. Henry wasn’t here to be her one and only ally – damn kid had a date, a _date!_ – leaving her with a choice between her parents, Hook in his summer frock coat that was somehow more disturbing than his winter one, and the Mills sisters. She had tried Ruby, received nothing but a muffled noise on the end of the phone Emma was pretty sure she didn’t want to ask about, and had decisively opted for the women of Milfin Street.

The problem was that it was so fucking hot that being outside was only marginally preferable to being in hell, so she had found the sisters in the secluded garden, sunning themselves in ridiculous two pieces and glistening under the rays from lotion that even as she approached Emma could smell; almonds and coconut blending with the flowers in Regina’s garden. They were like the beautiful snakes in the Garden of Eden and they were ridiculous. In fact in this whole town of really, truly ridiculous things the two women stretched out before her wearing designer sunglasses that probably cost more than her first apartment were the most absurd.

And they were laughing at her.

“Shut up,” she said weakly, dumping her keys and phone on the heavy iron garden table that was secured into the ground next to the sisters, trying to concentrate on the metal patterns rather than the really goddamn _ridiculous_ spectacle that was much more tempting to stare at. She was wearing sunglasses herself of course, so she could get away with a quick look couldn’t she? And it’s not like they weren’t going to tease her anyway.

Fuck it.

Regina was in black – they both were of course but the fabric of Zelena’s suit had stripes of white running through it and Emma wondered if it was just coincidental that Zelena’s wasn’t wearing Regina’s colour anymore – and they were both stretched out on sun loungers with better upholstery than anything in Mary Margaret’s apartment. Emma felt distinctly overdressed and also very conscience of the fact that Zelena’s eyes were following her as she hovered awkwardly.

It had been six months and sometimes it felt like the witch had been here all along. She wasn’t especially helpful in the running of the town, she was rude to most strangers and she was odd bordering on the uncomfortable. Henry liked her though, which would always give Zelena points in Emma’s book and she had managed to fall into a cordial relationship with Henry’s other mother and her sister.

“Are you joining us?” The redhead asked, as though it had only just occurred to her that Emma being there at all meant she wasn’t doing anything else.

“Is that okay?” Her eyes darted quickly from where Zelena was sitting up, pulling her sunglasses down a sun-freckled nose to pierce her with those sharp, bemused eyes. Zelena was grinning again but Regina, without sitting up, pushed her glasses onto her head and ran her eyes over Emma appraisingly, an almost comically stern Madame-Mayor look on her face. Emma tried not to shuffle too noticeably. Or watch the bead of sweat that was sliding innocuously from Regina’s collarbone.

Emma wiped her brow with the back of her hand, pushing her hair out of her face and wondering whether an afternoon alone would really have been all that bad. The view in her room at Granny’s probably wouldn’t have been quite as enjoyable and the heat from the kitchen downstairs seemed to make everything worse and then there was the very real problem of having to smell the other patrons every time she wanted to get a cold drink. But at least she wouldn’t be blushing from her hairline to her toes, with only the faintest hope of being able to put the flush down to exertion to save her dignity.

“Its fine,” Regina finally said, flipping her sunglasses back down over her eyes. “But I have no intention of driving you to the hospital with heat exhaustion so please take off those jeans.”

Zelena laughed but Regina’s face was impassive. Emma gawped.

“I am not taking my clothes off!”

“I’m not asking for a strip-tease Miss Swan-” Regina said wearily and Zelena laughed again though she stopped when Regina shot her a look that Emma assumed was pointed and wished she could see behind the Queen’s sunglasses. “I’m sure you can conjure yourself up a bathing suit can’t you?”

Clothes. They had been doing clothes lately so actually Emma knew that she probably _could_ do that, although she had a horrible feeling that trying to magically dress herself in things that were kind of small by their nature would probably lead her into embarrassment. She hadn’t tried underwear yet and hadn’t really thought about trying it at all – it now occurred to her to think of how much Regina could mess with people by stealing their underwear and then she thought of how much she would love to be able to touch the lace and silk bras she had caught occasionally glimpse of, safe in the knowledge that Regina’s shirt was still there to be slowly unbuttoned to reveal the straining-

“Okay,” she squeaked out, determining to focus her mind on something else. She cleared her throat and wiped her warm, sticky hands on her tank top. “So I just think of one I have or one I’ve seen or…”

“One you have will do,” Regina cut her off, waving her hand as she reached for the glass of lemonade next to her lounger.

“Okay,” Emma said, mostly to herself as she rolled her shoulders, always feeling as though she should warm up something before attempting magic. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate.

She had a green suit, somewhere in New York City in an apartment that lay empty and unloved now, but surely her clothes would still be there? She tried to picture it, the exact shade of green, the cut of it, the wear to the bra clasp because she was too lazy to buy a new one and really she only had it because it was comfier than a real bra during the summer. She imagined herself in it, remembering how it clung to her body…

“Miss Swan?”

Emma opened her eyes and grinned – there it was! She had conjured up her suit exactly as she remembered. And dressed Regina in it.

Fuck. Her face fell and hand went to her forehead in annoyance.

“God Regina I’m so sorry!” She glanced down at herself to make sure she herself was at least still dressed and found, to the grateful relief of her skin but to the surprise of her eyes, that she was wearing Regina’s bathing suit. How… oh god that didn’t even make _sense_!

“What happened Emma?” Regina asked, in a more measured voice than Emma had been expecting.

“I don’t know-Will you stop it!?”

She rounded on Zelena who had been steadily sniggering to herself since Emma had opened her eyes. The redhead stopped and raised an eyebrow, swinging her body around so she was sat on the edge of her lounger and could reach out to run long fingers over the green bikini on Regina’s body, twirling her finger around the strap. She was smirking and even with shades looked smug and Emma was painfully aware that Zelena had probably been able to recreate the most intricate of designs using magic before she’d even hit puberty. 

“How _old_ is this?”

“Younger than you,” Emma replied swiftly and smiled petulantly at the redhead, sitting next to her on the lounger now there was space. “I’m sorry Regina,” she said with sincerity, watching the trajectory of Zelena’s fingers more intently than she probably should have done on the off-chance that they would slip slightly.

“Its fine,” Regina said with the air of a martyr, running a hand over her hips to ensure that it was at least sitting right on her body. Emma’s mouth dried again and she cleared her throat again before managing a disbelieving “Really?”

“Hardly,” Zelena cut in, her fingers quickly and mouth-wateringly pulling at the material that covered Regina’s breast. “It’s too small for you.”

Regina swatted her away gently but Zelena caught her sister’s fingers between her own and held on playfully, swinging their arms in the gap between their loungers. Emma leaned back on her hands, stretching out her body in the hope that when she had worked out the ache in her back the Mills women would have stopped acting like this was one of her feverish dreams. She closed her eyes and sighed, rolling her head from one side to the other in an attempt stretch the stress out of her neck; it didn’t work. She opened her eyes and found Zelena still holding Regina’s hand and tilting her sunglasses down her nose with her free hand, and Regina doing the same, both of them watching her intently.

“What?” She blushed, feeling oddly claustrophobic when they didn’t look away and instead Regina sat up, the curve of her waist, hips and thighs making Emma’s whole inside feel like they were puddling slowly downwards. She stretched out her legs in the hope that the heaviness would abate but all it left her with was stretched out legs and the thought that until moments ago Regina had been wearing these bikini bottoms over her-

Oh god. She was blushing again and they were still looking at her. Crap on things.

“A lack of clothes suits you Saviour,” Zelena said, her voice sounding lower than it had moments before and Emma’s breath caught. These women were absurd.

Ruby was hot and Ruby flirted but Ruby didn’t confuse her because whereas the waitress was straightforward and always friendly bordering on the inappropriate Regina and Zelena wavered so much for her that she never felt as though she could be sure. It unnerved and excited her most of the time and she had both of those feelings again right now, although with both pairs of eyes staring at her so intensely, and she stretched her back out a little more, purely experimentally of course, and was emboldened when Regina’s eyes flickered to her stomach.

“Thanks,” she replied with a small chuckle to cut through the nerves. “If you think this is good you should see me naked.”

Regina’s eyes darkened then so noticeably that Emma couldn’t pretend to have missed it and her mouth fell open inelegantly when she realised quite what she had said. Everything felt suddenly slow, as though her interaction with the women had become as slow as the hot day felt like it should be, but it was not enough to deter Zelena, whose lips spread into a wide, toothy smile as she leaned forward.

“That sounds like an excellent suggestion.”

And Zelena was kissing her. A long-fingered hand was wrapped around the back of her neck, guiding her mouth to where Zelena wanted it and she was kissing her soundly and not quite as aggressively as Emma would have imagined. And god, had she imagined it! Zelena. Regina. Both of them. It was a dream, it had to be, or else she was about to find out they were all under some terrible curse cast by god-knows-who that she was going to have to seek out and destroy and she really, _really_ didn’t want to because this was pretty much her idea of paradise. Or it would be.

Emma pulled away, making the red head let out a sigh of annoyance but before she could consider Zelena again she left her seat and all but fell into the gap between the two loungers, miniscule though it was, and found herself on her knees next to where Regina still lay watching them. She hesitated for a long moment, thinking of what to say, what she could possibly say that might get her where she wanted, but nothing came in her head other than stupid lines that were never going to work and long, deep speeches about things they really did need to talk about at some point.

But it was so hot in the sunshine and Regina wasn’t exactly making any great moves to speak herself as far as Emma could tell and that was when she realised the best thing to do.

She leaned in slowly, half-convinced that Regina was going to push her away, but when she didn’t Emma kissed her gently at first, then with more aggression because god, she smelt amazing and then she felt Zelena’s hand on her back, urging her on as she parted Regina’s lip and deepened the kiss.

They’d been talking too much.

Regina’s hand found its way to her head and she felt short, strong fingers thread themselves through the locks appreciatively and they both moaned into the kiss. Pulling back, her lips beginning to become swollen Emma glanced between the two women and spotted that their hands were still joined between the loungers.

“Oh my god… are you guys _really_ …?”

“Is it a problem Miss Swan?” Regina gasped out, her breath heavy and her neck beginning to flush with lust.

“It hasn’t been a problem for us,” Zelena said conversationally as she moved her free hand slowly up Emma’s back, making the blonde shiver and gasp before she reached over to grasp Regina’s chin and lean in for a kiss.

Emma stared. This was so very wrong and she knew it; she really shouldn’t be a part of this. If Henry ever found out… God if _Snow_ ever found out.

But who was she to judge? And who needed to know and-?

“Bloody hell Swan, are you in or out?” Zelena asked snappily though she did so through a grin and while an inch away from Regina’s lips.

Oh god she was totally in.

She watched as they kissed, hands still joined or else stroking over the other’s face and it occurred to Emma that this really shouldn’t unnerve her as much as it was. Leaving aside the _thing_ it wasn’t as though she hadn’t thought about this before, or like she hadn’t done it before; and here she was like a nervous teenager. Well, that was changing!

She leaned in and pressed her lips to the back of the Zelena’s neck, pushing aside long auburn curls to begin a slow, teasing path down the taller woman’s spine, slipping her legs either side of Zelena as she sat behind her and pulled her body close by weaving an arm around her waist. Zelena gasped at the contact and Regina, apparently more in sync with Emma than they had thought, finally sat up from her lounger to take control of the kiss, pushing Zelena back as Emma held the woman close.

“Oooh, I get to go first?” Zelena drawled when Regina finally pulled back, smirking and determined and catching Emma’s eye to silently communicate the intention. “Regina’s usually too demanding for that.”

“Quiet,” Regina husked as she kissed Zelena again, urging her and Emma back on the lounger until there was space for her to straddle both of their right legs. Emma felt the warmth of her against her thigh and breathed desperately, sure her hands were working independently of her brain because somehow she was pulling at the ties of Zelena’s bikini top and it was falling away and from her vantage position of having both woman practically in her lap she teased her fingers over Zelena’s torso until she could reach her breast and slowly ghost her fingers over sensitive flesh.

Zelena growled and Regina smiled at them both, leaning in to kiss Emma. Emma would have quite happily stayed there, one hand teasing Zelena’s nipple as the woman squirmed against her and the other supporting Regina around the waist as she kissed the former Queen soundly. The little noises coming from Regina’s throat made currents run through her body, made her fingers move all the rougher over Zelena’s body, and also made her hyper aware of the fact that-

“Guys, we’re _outside_.”

Both women laughed at her. Again.

“So we could be _seen_ , you do understand that other humans have eyes right?”

“Emma,” Regina said with a tilt of her head, reaching behind herself to unhook the clasp of her bra and letting it fall and rendering Emma’s brain to mush. “Do you really think I’d do that if someone could just wander in?”

Emma didn’t answer. Partly because she judged the question to be rhetorical but mostly because she had been unable to resist leaning forward immediately and wrapping her lips around a taut nipple, making the same movements with her tongue that she made with her fingers, finding a deep sense of satisfaction in doing the same thing to both of them at the same time.

“And it’s much too hot to be indoors,” Zelena added before Regina reclaimed her mouth and Emma tried to angle her head to watch them.

She sucked gently on Regina’s nipple as her thumb drew circles around Zelena’s, pinching and rolling with her fingers and lips and feeling beads of sweat on her forehead from the effort of her position. Letting go of Zelena’s nipple and releasing Regina’s with a small pop she wriggled carefully out from underneath them, half-terrified that they would simply carry on without need of her but their kiss ended swiftly and both turned to look at her perplexed.

“I’m sorry I-”

“What?” Regina demanded, eyes blazing with annoyance, confusion and disappointment at the possibility of Emma leaving now. “You just decided you can’t after all?”

“No! I mean, I really do want to,” Emma said hurriedly. “I’m not going anywhere Regina,” rushing back to the lounger she leaned down to place both her palms on Regina’s cheeks, leaning in to kiss her sweetly. “But I don’t think the three of us on one lounger is going to work.”

Regina let out an 'o' of realisation and a bright smile came over her features, one that Emma could do nothing but respond in kind to. The red head rolled her eyes and got to her feet, looking so majestically Amazonian with her breasts bare and her hair loose that Emma’s brain became fuzzy again and her smile became a little more fixed. 

“Get up darling,” Zelena held out a hand for her sister to take and urged Regina to her feet too before waving her hand. The loungers disappeared, or merged into one – Emma couldn’t really tell – and what looked like a really massive futon covered a patch of Regina’s lawn. Complete with pillows and silk sheets.

“Oh my god, you conjured a boudoir. You know a blanket would have been fine?”

Zelena scoffed and languidly lowered her body onto the new makeshift bed.

“A blanket? We’re not peasants Saviour.”

She tugged on Regina’s hand to pull her onto the bed and the dark-haired woman let out a breath of surprise as she landed on top of her sister, leaning in for a kiss before rolling off and glancing up at Emma with a smirk.

“Well dear, are you with us?”

“Hell yes,” Emma tugged off her top to make them even and resisted the urge to jump onto the bed - it was actually a _bed_ in the garden, these women were the best kinds of ridiculous – as she joined them for a hopefully long, hot afternoon.


End file.
